Thoughtful Thursday: You Cannot Screw Up Your Destiny

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surfs upDid you ever miss an opportunity to travel and thought that would be your only chance to do it?  Believe in the fact that your turn will naturally come to explore the world when the time is right.  Whether it was a study abroad trip that you didn’t get a chance to experience or the European escape that your friends took without you, you can take steps and make choices that lead down the path of travel on YOUR terms.

This week’s Thoughtful Thursday explores how you cannot screw up your destiny, so if you’re a would-be traveler, it’s going to happen!

Guest Blog Post by Christine Hassler

“We are not permitted to choose the frame of our destiny. But what we put into it is ours.” Dag Hammarskjold

“Destiny itself is like a wonderful wide tapestry in which every thread is guided by an unspeakably tender hand, placed beside another thread and held and carried by a hundred others.”  Rainer Maria Rilke

“A person often meets his destiny on the road he took to avoid it.” Jean de La Fontaine

You cannot screw up your destiny.  It is impossible to miss out or mess up something that you are meant to experience.

Hopefully this is reassuring to you.

It may be especially reassuring if you are agonizing over a current decision or over-thinking a choice you already made.  Fear of “choosing wrong” keeps you in states of limbo or regret – ugh, who wants that? If you truly had faith in the knowing that you cannot screw up your destiny, would you trust your choices more? And could you free yourself from paralysis by analysis?

Now you may be asking, “What about free will?  Don’t we have that?” Absolutely we do!  Having choice is what is so fun about being human.  But what is not so fun about being human is not having faith that every choice we make is the “right” choice. Trust me, there are no “wrong” choices.  There are simply consequences of each choice that shapes the manner in which our destiny unfolds but truly cannot screw it up.

We think in life there is some “there” we are supposed to get to or some “something” we are supposed to do or some “someone” we are supposed to meet.  We then believe that our destiny is defined by the there’s, something’s and someone’s. And if we don’t choose right, we’ll miss out on the there’s, something’s and someone’s.

Perhaps a more helpful way to perceive destiny is that is encompasses all the things we are here to learn in life. From everything I’ve studied, been taught, observed and experienced in my own life, I trust that we all come into life with our own unique curriculum. So our destiny is more about what we are here to learn rather than getting to a there, doing a something, or meeting a somebody.  The people we meet along the way and situations we are involved simply serve as teachers that help us learn and experience what we are destined to learn and experience.

Your life curriculum is a guarantee.  You haven’t and you can’t mess it up.

But again, what about free will?

Free will shapes your destiny because the choices you make influence how and when you learn the lessons you are destined to learn and have the experiences you are destined to experience. For example, let’s say it is part of your destiny to truly understand and embody courage.  In order for that to happen, you will have to experience things that give you the opportunity to practice being courageous.  Your choices along your life journey will impact how that happens.  Maybe you will choose into a relationship that is difficult and you will have to find the courage to leave.  Or maybe you will be in situations where you choose to speak your truth even if it is not accepted.

Think of it like this: imagine that your life is a treasure map and the pot of gold represents what you are destined to experience.  The choices you make along the way simply impact the route you toward that pot of gold.  There is not just one route to get there – there are many paths that you could possibly take.  That means there are MANY choices you can make in your life, which will all eventually lead you to the same destination.  Free will just impacts the how and when. But you can relax in the knowing that you will indeed reach the pot of gold.

The Uni-verse is always looking out for you.  It will continue to send you opportunities to direct you toward your destiny.  And if you miss a sign, It will keep sending you more.   You are never off course.

Your own inner wisdom is your internal GPS so that you will never get totally lost.  Sure you may feel a bit disorientated at times, but trust that your Higher Self knows your destiny.  The more you are in communication with your Higher Self, rather than your ego, the more direct your route will be.

Trust that if there is something you are destined to experience, you will experience it.

Trust that if there are things you are destined to do, you will do them.

Trust that if there is someone you are destined to meet, you will meet him or her.

This does not mean that you can just stay home and wait for destiny to knock at your door.  Part of what moves you along the treasure map of your life is taking action. Your destiny is not just a pot of gold at the end of your life.  It is present each and every day.

Choose to accept everything you are experiencing in life and see it all as part of your destiny.

Choose to do things that are the most authentic expression of the Love that you are.

Choose to surround yourself with people that are aligned with your values and create relationships based on Truth and Love.

But remember to CHOOSE. Being in paralysis by analysis because you are buying into the misunderstanding that you can somehow screw up your destiny is like pressing the pause button on your life.  Press play!

Again, you cannot screw up your destiny but you can shape how you will experience it.   Have faith, trust the Uni-verse and your Higher Self, and relax in the knowing that every person and situation in your life is giving you a beautiful glimpse of your pot of gold.


“There is no such thing as chance; and what seem to us merest accident springs from the deepest source of destiny.” Friedrich Schiller

“I seldom end up where I wanted to go, but almost always end up where I need to be.” Douglas Adams

“It is in your moments of decision that your destiny is shaped.” Anthony Robbins

“The willing, Destiny guides them; the unwilling, Destiny drags them.” Seneca

About the Author:

Christine Hassler left her successful job as a Hollywood agent at 25 to pursue a life she could be passionate about…but it did not come easily. After being inspired by her own unexpected challenges and experiences, she realized her journey was indeed her destination. In 2005, she wrote the first guide book written exclusively for young women, entitled 20 Something 20 Everything. Christine’s second book, The 20 Something Manifesto written for men and women stems from her experience coaching twenty-something’s.

Today, she supports individuals as a Life Coach helping clients discover the answers to the questions: “Who Am I, What do I want, and How do I get it?” As a professional speaker, Christine leads seminars and workshops to audiences around the country. She has spoken to over 10,000 college students as well as to conferences and corporations about generational diversity. Christine has appeared as an expert on The Today Show, CNN, ABC, CBS, FOX, E!, Style and PBS, as well as various local television and radio shows, speaking about life issues and “Expectation Hangovers®” – a phenomenon she identified and trademarked.

Christine is the spokesperson for Zync from American Express and the key resource for their Quarterlife Program which empowers young people to take control of their finances. She also created a life balance curriculum for the Leadership Institute and is a member of Northwestern University’s Council of 100.

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