Thoughtful Thursday: Why We Don’t Always Get What We Want

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7427EURS2013It’s like the Rolling Stones sang, “you can’t always get what you want.  But if you try sometimes well you might find you get what you need!”  In life, we don’t always get what we want and we think things like vacation time and crossing items off our bucket list is never going to happen.

This week’s Thoughtful Thursday explores why we don’t always get what we want.  Read on!

Guest Post by Christine Hassler

Last weekend I facilitated Chrysalis, my annual three-day retreat. Most participants come because they are experiencing discontent in at least one area of their life and want to change it! The stories vary but what is always common is their disappointment is over something that they want most in life yet have experienced a high degree of struggle getting.

For example, people who long to be in relationship, their pain usually has to do with not finding love, breakups and betrayals in relationships.

What I’ve learned through the years of coaching people through what I call Expectation Hangovers® is that they hit us where we are most vulnerable. We tend to experience repeat disappointment in our most tender areas. Ouch.

This isn’t because the Universe is mean and wants to punish us. It’s because we are stubborn and often it takes getting hit where it hurts the most to wake up. Most people don’t come to me for help because everything in their life is going great. They come because their Expectation Hangover has brought them to their knees and they are finally open to surrender (a key lesson we are all here to learn).

Surrender is one of those spiritually sexy words that is a pain in the you-know-what to practice when we are not getting what we want.

We don’t like it when the Universe seems to miss the memo on how we think things should be – in fact it’s the very thing that challenges our faith the most. But the truth is the Universe doesn’t miss anything. Your Higher Power knows exactly how to get your attention so you go IN and go UP rather than looking to any external source for happiness, love or worthiness.

I am not saying that if you “shouldn’t” long for love or a career that lights your fire. Those things are AWESOME. I’m also not saying that you’re supposed to just sit around in surrender and never take action in your life. What I am saying is that the Universe may be giving you an advanced course in surrender right now to deepen your own personal connection to whatever you call your Higher Power.

Everything you desire is within you. It’s like the big cosmic joke. God places the things we most desire closest to us because it’s the last place we look! Whatever you call your Higher Power, wants you to be happy, feel loved, and know you are worthy and deserving NO MATTER what. This is one of those soul lessons we often learn the hard way but it’s so worth it.

My encouragement to you if you feel like you keep experiencing heartache and disappointment, is to go IN and go UP. Surrender. Make this a time to deepen your spiritual connection and find the truest source of Love and Meaning there is.

Much love and many blessings,


p.s. Hear how over 30 leading experts were brought to their knees at one point or another and navigated their own lessons around surrender in the Quarterlife Upgrade. Register for free to have access to their vulnerable stories and inspiring advice here.

About the Author:

Christine HasslerChristine Hassler left her successful job as a Hollywood agent at 25 to pursue a life she could be passionate about…but it did not come easily. After being inspired by her own unexpected challenges and experiences, she realized her journey was indeed her destination. In 2005, she wrote the first guide book written exclusively for young women, entitled 20 Something 20 Everything. Christine’s second book, The 20 Something Manifesto written for men and women stems from her experience coaching twenty-something’s.

Today, she supports individuals as a Life Coach helping clients discover the answers to the questions: “Who Am I, What do I want, and How do I get it?” As a professional speaker, Christine leads seminars and workshops to audiences around the country. She has spoken to over 10,000 college students as well as to conferences and corporations about generational diversity. Christine has appeared as an expert on The Today Show, CNN, ABC, CBS, FOX, E!, Style and PBS, as well as various local television and radio shows, speaking about life issues and “Expectation Hangovers®” – a phenomenon she identified and trademarked.

Christine is the spokesperson for Zync from American Express and the key resource for their Quarterlife Program which empowers young people to take control of their finances. She also created a life balance curriculum for the Leadership Institute and is a member of Northwestern University’s Council of 100.

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