Ever had an airport crush? The person you spot breezing through security while everyone else fumbles with liquids and laptops: a good fit, expensive luggage and a cool, collected demeanour amid the airport chaos.
Next thing, they’re on your flight, just a few rows ahead. The wedding bells chime and the names of your future children come to you in an instant.
Then the plane hits the tarmac and they start to clap. Life has killed the dream you dreamed.
That, my friends, is called the ick.
Image source: Merriam-Webster
Travel has a funny way of exposing people’s deeply irritating little habits and, admittedly, our own lack of tolerance. A mild irritant can become a major bugbear when you’re out of your comfort zone. Perhaps in, say, a metal tube hurtling 10,000km above the ground for eight hours. For example.
Am I being dramatic? Perhaps. Is it reasonable to judge someone for the way they pack, queue, eat or sit? Absolutely not. Am I going to stop? Also no.
So, I’ve pulled together a list of travel icks – the annoying things other people do, because I can do no wrong, obviously. I may also have consulted Team Contiki for some of the more gnarly additions. Apparently, we have a lot of feelings about airports.
Scroll at your own risk and remember, it’s all just a bit of fun. Most of the time.
1. Clapping when the plane lands
Is it a genuine display of gratitude for a safe landing or are you actually trying to give everyone else second-hand embarrassment?
I’ll say this, it makes for a great game.
2. Unbuckling your seatbelt and standing the moment the wheels touch down
We’re all desperate to get off the plane. But standing up is not going to make the plane move any faster.
We can manage another seven minutes. Please sit down.
3. Not having your boarding pass ready
You’ve checked in online. You’ve been through security. You’ve watched approximately 12 people in front of you scan their boarding passes. And yet, when it’s finally your turn, it’s like you’ve never used a phone before.
And if you’ve rushed ahead of everyone else only to start looking for your passport at the gate? That’s between you and God.
4. Bare feet on the plane
Major ick!
Shoes off on the plane? Understandable. We’ve all got to get comfortable somehow. Barefoot to the bathroom? Grim, but that’s your prerogative.
What I cannot get behind is looking up and seeing your toes poking into the aisle, or worse, wiggling between the seats.
And if I smell them before I see them? We have a problem.
5. Not being able to follow a simple instruction
“Please remain seated.”
You stand up.
“Please keep your seatbelt fastened.”
You undo it.
“Please wait until the seatbelt sign has been switched off.”
You’re already halfway down the aisle.
I don’t know what it is about being on a plane that makes otherwise functioning adults suddenly forget how instructions work. Honestly, what are we doing?
6. Wearing a neck pillow and eye mask on a short-haul flight
Look, I understand wanting to be comfortable. But it’s a 55-minute flight. You don’t need to enter hibernation. You can sleep when you get there.
7. Travelling in pyjamas
Have you heard of loungewear? Unless you’re seven years old, there’s no excuse for travelling in PJs.
8. Reclining your seat the second you’re allowed to
Yes, your seat reclines. Yes, you’re technically allowed to recline it. But do you need to slam it backwards approximately three seconds after take-off while I’m still holding a cup of coffee?
No, you don’t.
Image source: Contiki
9. Standing directly in front of the luggage belt
We didn’t fly across the world to spend 40 minutes waiting for our luggage either. But I can’t actually see the luggage if you’re standing directly in front of the belt. And neither can anyone else.
10. Asking to swap seats when you’ve got the aisle or window
You booked the middle seat. I booked the window. And now you’re asking if I’d like to swap?
I’m sure you’re lovely, but I chose this seat for a reason. I would like to see out of the window / access the aisle / not spend the next three hours trapped between two strangers.
This is not a negotiation.
11. Refusing to give the local language a go
The person who spends two weeks somewhere without attempting a single word of the local language? Bit of an ick.
I’m not exactly fluent and I’ll likely butcher the pronunciation of “hello” or “thank you.” But that’s half the fun, right?
You don’t need to master the language. Just have a go. And if your strategy is to repeat the same sentence in English, but louder, I’m afraid that doesn’t count.
12. Refusing to try any of the local cuisine
“There’s nothing to eat here.”
You’re in Italy. There’s pasta. Everywhere.
I’m not saying you need to eat something you hate, but the person who travels halfway across the world and immediately starts looking for a McDonald’s or a Full English does make me wonder why we bothered.
And yes, I say this as someone who has absolutely eaten chips for dinner on holiday.
13. Not letting anyone eat until you’ve taken a good photo
The camera eats first? Don’t worry, I wasn’t hungry anyway.
I understand wanting the photo. I do it too. But if I’ve been sitting across from a plate of food while you rotate it 45 degrees, move the fork, take it from above and then ask me not to touch anything because “the light is better over here”, I’m going to start eating.
See also #15.
14. Buying cliché tourist merch
The elephant trousers. You know the ones.
Shot glasses, fridge magnets and “I ♥ [place name]” hoodies are also a bit of an ick.
I’m not against a souvenir. I’ve absolutely bought things on holiday that I would be embarrassed to see in daylight. But there’s a difference between a nice little reminder of your trip and dressing like you’ve just returned from the airport gift shop.
Take the memories. Leave the tat.
15. Spending six hours of your 48-hour city break queuing for TikTok-famous places
All because someone on TikTok said the croissant was “a must”. At this point, you’re not really travelling. You’re just queuing somewhere else.
16. Children kicking the back of your chair
Need I say more?
Image source: Contiki
So, there you have it: all the tiny travel habits that grind my gears. Have they stopped me from travelling? Absolutely not. In fact, I’m already booking my next trip… God help the person sat next to me.
Ready to experience the irks IRL? Go on, book your next Contiki and see how many of these you can spot along the way.
