Real Talk

How to differentiate a summer fling from a real good thing

Warm nights, moonlit beaches, 1 too many cocktails and BAM - it's love. Let’s not lie; we’ve all been there, in the moment, getting carried away with all those summer feels.

Sometimes summer romances can transform into lifelong companions. And other times, the romance fades even quicker than your tan…

So how do we know which is which?

With Europe Summer upon us, sipping on white wine in quaint cobbled squares and lying around on the Mediterranean’s glistening blue seas are definitely on the cards. But gallivanting around some of the world’s most romantic cites could also mean sprucing up your love life! So before a French accent, charming Italian or mesmerisingly beautiful Swede sweeps you of your feet, let’s just take a moment to establish the difference between a summer fling OR a real good thing…

Is it lust or love?

Finding someone you have great sex with is a win, but just because you’re a good match in the bedroom doesn’t mean you’re compatible in life. Be real, be smart and keep it in perspective.

Sure sexual chemistry can be a big factor, but lust and love are two very different things and can be easily confused in those early stages of any summer romance. Trust, loyalty, similar interests and personality traits are all things that can take that lust up to the next level. And if that’s not there, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with making the most of a steamy summer together.

How much do you have in common?

Or really how much do you actually know about this person? If you’re after something more serious you need to step back and assess your compatibility. Do you share the same interests, have similar outlooks, hobbies and passions? Sure opposites do attract but you need to have some common ground. Just be sure to tread with caution while you work this out. There’s nothing worse than one of you on fling level whilst the other one is picturing wedding bells and table arrangements.

Make sure you’re both on the same page

As cringe-worthy as it may be, sometimes the easiest thing to do is just address the situation. A 5 minute awkward chat is totally worth it in the long run. Just lay it on the line and let each other know if you’re just after care-free summer fun, or if you can see something more. Once it’s out there, it’s out – no second guessing or driving yourself crazy wondering what the other person’s thinking. If you’re on different pages then it’s probably best to be the bigger person or protect yourself and step away before it’s too late. No one want’s their summer vibes ruined with heart ache and tears.

Don’t leave any words unsaid

There’s nothing worse than that feeling of regret when you wanted to say something but could never find the right moment or have the balls to actually say how you feel. Suck up your pride; you’ve got nothing to lose here. Your words can either be replicated or you’ll figure out the other person doesn’t have the same intentions or feelings as you. Either way at least you won’t look back thinking what if?

Can you see this person fitting into your real world?

The great thing about travel is that you have the opportunity to meet so many new people from different background who you wouldn’t normally come across in your day to day life. But on the flip side, you’ve always got to keep this in mind when those fluttering feelings get involved. Crashing back down into realty and considering if this guy or girl would get along with your family, friends, be happy in your home town, or just be compatible with your way of life in general is a must. Do yourself a favour and be honest with this. If it’s a no then that’s cool, just enjoy the time you have together whilst creating some pretty incredible memories. And if you think it’s a yes then that’s an added bonus, just keep your guard up until you know they feel the same way.

And is it actually feasible that they could be in your real world?

Distance, the number 1 killer of any summer thing. There’s nothing worse than meeting someone you’re compatible with and then going your separate ways back to polar opposite sides of the world. This doesn’t always mean the romance is over; long distance relationships are bigger than ever today. But if you actually want to make it real you’ve both got to really commit and make some serious sacrifices. Establishing if this is feasible early on can save you both a lot of time and avoids misunderstanding or hurt in the long run.

And just because it can’t work right now, doesn’t mean it won’t work out in the future. Fate often has a funny way of rectifying this; you never know what the future may hold…