Being in your 20′s is the hardest. Most of my friends are married or engaged, own houses or have children too. Everyone is at completely different stages of their lives. And that’s exactly how being in your 20′s is meant to be.
But they can also be the most stressful years of your life, as I found out when I went through a quarter-life crisis.
What exactly is quarter-life crisis? By definition, it means “involving anxiety over the direction and quality of one’s life”
Basically I felt a lot of pressure on how I should be an adult. Most people get a degree, get a job, buy a house and settle down. Me? I was a year into my biomedical degree whilst also working full-time at a medical research institute. I had hit a brick wall and had no idea what I was doing with my life. While I felt like I was doing a lot and had an impressive job, I felt so unhappy with myself. So, casually, I bought a one-way ticket to Canada and packed my bags to try and find out what I wanted out in life. I only intended to be gone for 3 months, and booked a 3-week Contiki trip called “The Big Western” which was in North America. After that trip, I had nothing else booked.
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I guess you could say I was winging it? I booked random flights all through America and Canada, I went all the way from Las Vegas to New York and South Carolina, alone. I ended up backpacking for 5 months, then found a sweet job at a ski resort in Banff, Alberta, for the long, cold Canadian winter. And once the snow melted in June, I spent summer hiking as much as possible, exploring Canada’s beauty and it’s breathtaking mountains.
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In my last two months in North America, I then decided I needed to do something really crazy and explore the desert, alone, in a van. So I did it. I bought a cheap van, chucked a bed in it and off I left with no plans but to hike and explore. In total, I drove 11,000km through 10 states. I lived off pasta, bread and fruit, treating myself to the odd American diner style dinner every now and then. I mostly had “water bottle” or “baby wipe” showers, as there’s not much you can really do when you’re a few hours away from civilization in Utah. There were times where I wouldn’t see another human being for up to a week. I really was all alone, but what kept me company was the millions of stars in the sky. There is basically no light pollution in Utah/ Nevada/ Arizona. I saw shooting stars every 3 seconds, lightning storms, snow, rain, hail, you name it. You can easily experience all 4 seasons in the desert.
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I was expecting to meet people my age on my road trip, but I didn’t. Everyone I met was retired, exploring North America with their partner or dog in an RV. But funnily enough, that was the best part – you learn so much from older people and you end up having a better time. One of my favourite memories of this trip was getting lost on my birthday. I had just made it to Utah and went off on a 4wd track to find a camping spot, but ended up stuck on a one-way road that felt never-ending, scared that my van would break down.
I was nearly running out of gas and 2 hours into this long road with the sun starting to set, I finally came across a camping spot and met 2 older men there, both in their 60’s. They were college professors researching bugs, and once a year for 2 weeks they came up to Utah and Arizona to road trip together. They have been doing this since they were teenagers. They were the coolest people I’d ever met; we shared stories and beers, they gave me some maps and tips for my trip, we watched the shooting stars together and listened to the wolves at night.
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My whole 2 months on the road consists of stories like this. It was an epic journey, but no doubt I had a lot of nights being scared, crying because I felt very alone, with no one to talk to and no reception. Just me, the stars and big rocks. I look back on those moments now and I understand why they had to happen. Those 2 months alone have helped me grow more than anything before in my life. I learned to appreciate the smallest things – fresh food, cold water, even a toilet or a fridge!
Coming back after 2 months on the road alone and almost 1.5 years in North America, I can say that all I want from life is to be happy. It’s as simple as that.
I have learned that you can’t rely on anyone else for your happiness. You have to learn to love yourself, and if you’re having a quarter-life crisis, embrace what you are feeling. Do the thing that makes you nervous and puts you out of your comfort zone because that is what is going to make you grow at the end of the day.
I feel like there is so much pressure on how to be an “adult”. Who cares how you adult? If that’s running across to the other side of the world not knowing anyone there, then so be it. At the end of the day, being happy should be your number 1 priority.
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