7 Signs it’s time to move to a new city (and how Contiki can help)

Like any serious commitment, where you live shouldn’t be something you just settle for. It can be hard especially to rationalise leaving a city that looks great on paper — one that your friends from smaller towns and abroad romanticise, and where people you know seem to be living their dream lives.

After years of debating whether to leave my base in New York City, I finally moved to London last month — closing out an on-off three-and-a-half-year chapter in the city. Though I initially loved NYC when I first moved there from Los Angeles after university — the walkability (for U.S. standards), the endless beautiful hotel lobbies to co-work or loiter in, the 100+ events going on every week — I gradually started to feel disconnected from it, which made me feel out of sync with myself as well.

This feeling didn’t make sense to my family or friends in the city: I had a close circle, a full social calendar, a good industry salary, a “dream job” in a place where my career was continuing to progress rapidly, years of history… But after spending extended periods in Europe, the UK, and Canada — from as little as three weeks to as long as five months at a time — it became clear to me that even a place like NYC that checks 90% of my boxes wasn’t the right fit. And your current city that checks most of your boxes might not either. 

Here are a few signs it might be time to move on. Count finding this article through your Google search as one of them. 

1. You’ve lost your curiosity

It’s natural for the honeymoon phase with your city to fade. But if you’ve stopped adding new restaurants, events, or neighbourhoods to your weekend to-do list — that’s worth noting.

Maybe your favorite restaurant closed eight months ago, and you still haven’t felt like finding a new one. When not even flashy events or exclusive invites can tempt you out of your five-block radius, and you can seldom remember what you did on the weekend when a friend asks, the novelty has become nonexistent. If you’ve stopped wondering about your city, it might be time to wonder about somewhere new.

2. You’ve stopped fantasising about being rich in that city

If the idea of being financially rich and abundant in your current city doesn’t make you excited anymore, you’re probably living in the wrong place. During my first year in New York, I used to daydream of a future me living in an airy SoHo apartment (after, of course, climbing the corporate ladder and accumulating more wealth) where I’d one day throw regular dinner parties, upgrade to boutique co-ord furniture, become a beloved figure within my community (of course), get a small but sturdy dog, fall in love…

By my second year in New York, I was struggling to picture a future there. How did I know it was really time to leave soon? Earlier this year, I was being poached for a job where I’d be head of a division and would be paid $50,000 USD more than my current one. Though the salary thrilled me for the first few seconds, that feeling quickly faded into absolute dread. The job would require four days a week in-office — tying me to a city I no longer wanted to invest in. I realised that, if I took that job, I wouldn’t use that money to further build my life in NYC. I’d just use most (if not all of it) to get away — to vacation out of the city as much as possible — to a place I actually wanted to live in and move to.

3. You complain about everything

You’re regularly scrolling through “I hate [insert your city]” Reddit threads for solidarity. The touristy things bother you. The local gems you don’t find to be that charming or magical. 3 out of 4 of the seasons in your city feel and look miserable to you. Your FaceTime calls to family devolve into rants about your city, and you keep thinking that there must be more to life than what you live offers. 

By the time I left, my love for New York had been reduced to: “I love that there are so many Equinox gyms in proximity to one another in Manhattan,” which is not nearly enough of a reason to stay in a city. 

You find yourself becoming jokingly and truly not fun at parties, leaving you and others wanting to pack your bags. 

4. The lifestyle doesn’t match what you want anymore

Maybe you used to thrive in a fast-paced, building-dense, job-first city — but now, all you want to do is take long walks along the waterfront or to sit on a bench in a peaceful (and lush) park with your Tupperware lunch and nowhere urgent to be and nothing to prove. Maybe you live in a small, sleepy town in the Netherlands where the restaurants close at 7 p.m., but what you really want is to fast-track your career, work on a Hollywood production, be passively and actively surrounded by industry people — and be somewhere with a nightlife that actually stays open past dinner.

If your lifestyle dreams don’t align with what your city offers, you don’t have to force it. Staying somewhere just because it used to work is like hanging out with a childhood friend purely out of habit even when you’ve clearly grown apart and honestly you wouldn’t choose them today (if you didn’t have a history). 

5. You and the weather just aren’t compatible

Don’t let the outdated sentiment that “weather is a boring topic” downplay how important it really is, especially if you live somewhere with multiple seasons.

If you’re constantly wiped out by long, humid summers, or lengthy winters so brutal your hands go red through your gloves, it’s going to wear you down. You don’t have to love the weather all year round, but it should at least support the life you want to live most of the year. 

6. The pictures (or lack thereof) are telling you something

You should trust your gut when deciding whether or not to move. But if your gut just.can’t.be.trusted, check your camera roll. 

You’re someone who normally loves documenting things — pictures of yourself, your friends, maybe even a dedicated album for every trip. But in the city you currently live in, you barely take any photos anymore — not even with your friends (who did nothing wrong) or of your historically photogenic pet — because new memories in your current city just feel meh. And when you do take photos of yourself, they’re not cute. It’s like that TikTok trend where girls post pictures of themselves before, during, and after a relationship — glowing before, puffy and tired during, hot again after they leave that partner.

When I did end up taking photos in New York, I somehow always looked haggard or “off.” My face was puffy, my hair stringy, my smile weird. But whenever I vacationed to London last year, nearly every photo I had of myself in London, I looked happy or felt good about (my self-esteem was left in-tact).

7. You feel more at home somewhere else — and your city’s draining you

Any vacation can give you a boost from the everyday — but if you consistently feel significantly more energised and alive in other cities, that’s worth paying attention to. You might try to “stick it out” and compare yourself to people who seem to thrive, but if your city leaves you drained, that’s a red flag.

In cities I’ve loved, I’d wake up excited at 8 or 9am to take a walk, out the door by 10, explore for hours, and make a friend or two in the wild. In New York, I’d sleep in and still feel wiped. Going outside felt like a chore. And it showed — my energy was lower, and so were the spontaneous connections I would make easily when out and about in other cities. 

Home doesn’t necessarily mean where your current job, family, or most of your friends are — it can be where your nervous system feels safe, where your joy is easier to access, and, therefore, a place where you can thrive and create abundance, where you actually want to build a future. Even if opportunities (personally and professionally) come easily to you in your current city, imagine how many more might show up when you’re living in a place that you find relaxing and exciting.

Ask yourself:

• Would you build a life with someone you’re not attracted to, just because it’s practical and because everyone else says they’re great?
• If most (or all) of your current friends moved away, would you still stay and invest in this city?

How can Contiki help you find your new home?

If you answered no to those questions, how do you find where you should really be living? Start with the baseline of: What cities have you always been curious about that are relatively safe and where you can afford to live in?

Then, take at least two “scoping trips” to the city you’re most interested in moving to — ideally one of them for a week or longer. Try to visit in two different seasons: once in spring or summer, and once during the winter holidays.

It’s easy for a city to feel magical when it’s warm and sunny out. But there’s something incredibly telling about how a city feels to you in December. It’s the time of year when emotions surrounding family and life choices run higher. If a city can still feel mostly magical to you in the middle of winter, that says something. For me: NYC winters felt like pure depression fuel, but when I spent winters in LDN, I even found the “It’s a Small World Adventure” ride at Hyde Park Winter Wonderland (incredibly touristy I know) to be a bop. 

For your first “scoping trip,” I highly recommend going with Contiki instead of going solo or with your family. Whether it’s a few days on something like the London Explorer or a longer trip that ends in a city you’re considering moving to, Contiki gives you the chance to experience a new place and see the major highlights of a city with an expert guide alongside a built-in community — giving you a preview of the kind of friendships that could and will be a part of your life if you made that new city home and invested in it. 

During allocated free time on your Contiki trip or if you choose to extend your stay afterward to explore solo, you might even meet locals you can revisit (or reconnect with) during your second “scoping trip.”

Travelling with Contiki — which (thankfully) does the heavy-planning for your trip — helps your first impression go smoothly. And that matters. If your first trip goes badly (maybe you booked a sketchy accommodation, missed a train connection, or had to do everything solo which wasn’t ideal for you), it can colour your perception of that city. But when it goes right? You can start to imagine what life there could actually feel like, and you can start looking nice in photos again.