We write a lot of articles matching people up with travel destinations. And we like to think we’re pretty good at it. You know, the usual questions. City or coast? Mountains or National Parks? Would you rather own a rhino the size of a hamster, or a hamster the size of a rhino? Things like that.
But to celebrate the opening up of the grand old USA, we thought it was time to take a more scientific approach. So we surveyed the stars, consulted some crystals, and gave Gwyneth Paltrow a call…and here it is: our guide on where to travel based on your zodiac sign. Don’t say we don’t put in the hard yards.
Aries – Boston
Ah, Aries. You like to ram (geddit?) your way through life with passion, impulsiveness and blind optimism – a bit like those Pilgrims who first arrived in Massachusetts in 1620. Sure, lots of them died. But the rest did a pretty good job of establishing the New World.
Uncomplicated in your approach to life, you get annoyed by unnecessary nuance and share Bostonians blunt approach to conversation. So grab a hot dog, go and watch the red sox and give the umpire a piece of your mind.
“That ball was so far outside it had a hat and coat on!” etc. etc.
Taurus – Las Vegas
Believe it or not, I’m not actually an expert on zodiac signs. But after chatting to Gwyneth on zoom this morning I’ve established that although Tauruses are known for their consistency, ambition and mental tenacity, they also can be a bit wild, with a tendency to take pleasure-seeking to the extremes.
So what better destination for you than Sin City itself, Taurus? Roll the dice and enjoy a hedonistic splurge of freedom and seedy fun. Stubbornly stick like the bull you are while playing blackjack. Or head out to the Grand Canyon to get some fresh air and clear out those cobwebs.
Cancer – Hawaii
Other star signs are out there being lions and archers and sh*t and you’re a crab called Cancer? Wow, that’s rough. You deserve a good destination. How does Hawaii sound? With its crystalline waters and powdery white sands, this place is paradise personified. Like you it’s passionate, beautiful and protective of its home.
It also has crabs.
Next!
Gemini – Miami
Impulsive, extroverted – there’s never a boring moment when you’re around, Gemini. Thinking about it, you have a lot in common with the city where the heat is on. Enjoy sub-tropical beaches, party in Little Havana or go for a shopping spree on Lincoln Road. There’s no place that can satisfy your ever-changing whims like the Magic City.
Leo – New York
An easy one. Leos are all about leadership, performance and popularity. And isn’t this ballsiness perfectly encapsulated by New York? Like you, this city does everything big, with flair, fame, and a bit of a f***k you attitude.
So put on your most imperious trench coat and take a bite out of the Big Apple. Cycle through Central Park, sightsee in Manhattan and toast at the top of the Empire State Building, surveying all that is yours like a villain in gangster movie. They’re guna hear you roar, Leo.
Virgo – Chicago
Humble but perceptive and industrious Virgo, your destination is America’s most underrated city. Chicago may not make as much noise as New York, but the third most populous city in the States has enough culture, art and pizza to make a visit well worth it. Head to the Jazz Festival and nod along introspectively, or check out the Alder Planetarium to journey through space and time. Chicago is a sensible choice, Virgo, as usual.
Libra – California (all of it)
“I just want everything to be, like, balanced, man.” We hear you Libra. You have a good heart. You seek justice and peace in the world. You’re also a bit obnoxious. Kinda like Los Angeles.
But we don’t want to confine a free-spirited individual such as yourself to one city. So feel the wind in your hair and the sun on your back as you journey across the spectacular state of California. Hug a redwood in Yosemite. Stare at street murals in San Diego. Visit whole foods. Put a flower in your hair and treat yo’self Libra – you’re in hippy paradise, where the good times just don’t stop rolling.
Scorpio – Texas
Is it just me or is Scorpio kinda like the Slytherin of star signs? All the others are pretty docile or neutral…then you have a scorpion, an animal that is widely considered to be an a**hole. Sorry Scorpios, I don’t make the rules. Gwyneth Paltrow does.
Anyway, with regards to your US travel destination…the Lone Star State sounds about right. You have a strong sense of identity. You know what you want and how to make it happen. So enjoy a Texan BBQ, check out Six Flags, one of the world’s largest theme parks, or enjoy a rodeo at the Fort Worth Stockyards. And if you get bored you can always head into the Chihuahuan Desert to hang out with your scorpion brethren….
Capricorn – Seattle
Ambitious, practical, determined, a little bit pretentious, you and Seattle were made for each other, Capricorn. (Also…your sign is some sort of weird aquatic goat? That’s almost as bad as Cancer). This dynamic tech hub is where ideas become reality, which is totally your bag.
Look up at the iconic space needle in wonder, or sip a coffee in the Starbucks roastery and work on your novel. The city’s surrounded by beautiful evergreen forests and soaring mountains, too, if you need some inspo from Mother Nature.
Sagittarius – New Orleans
Sagittarius, you’re all about energy, spontaneity and the drive for new and exciting opportunities. If you were a musical genre, you’d be jazz. (The good kind – not the elevator music you get in Starbucks; that’s for Capricorns). So where better for you than the wild and wonderful New Orleans?
This is a place packed with soul and surprises around every corner. So party on Bourbon Street, sample Beignets in the French Quarter and soak up all those colourful buildings as buskers fill the air with their beguiling melodies.
Aquarius – Portland
Sure, we could have gone with the Windy City for airy Aquarius, but that would be too obvious. Curious, clever, and resistant to classification, you’re more at home in Portland. You’re the hipster of the zodiac signs, basically, so put on your tattiest Converse and head to where the craft beer and flat whites don’t stop flowing. Walk the beautiful gardens, or head to the Portland Art Museum and say things like “i prefer his earlier work.” What you’ve got right here is hipster heaven.
Pisces – San Francisco
Last, but not least – man, there are a lot of zodiac signs, aren’t there? – Pisces, you’re known for your imagination and creativity, so you’ll feel right at home in the bohemian paradise of San Francisco. Sun, sights and all the good vibes, this place is packed with vintage stores, funky eateries and sprawling street art murals – perfect for sparking that fertile imagination.
