In defence of the three-person girls’ trip

Ever since the first episode of the latest The White Lotus season aired – featuring a trio of girlfriends taking a trip to Thailand – the internet has debated the three-person girls’ trip. Vogue even ran a piece subtitled “Never Take a Three-Person Girls’ Trip,” warning that someone always gets left out, drama is inevitable, etc.

I’ve taken my fair share of solo trips, but, for the past couple of years, I have definitely favoured being accompanied by the 1+ odd travelling companion to yap to and experience a new place with. I’ve travelled with just one other person, with two people, in a group of 10+ strangers…

Yes, I’ve travelled with two guy friends (platonically) before. And yes, they once convinced me that renting a Tesla for a lengthy road trip upstate from NYC was a great idea – dooming half the trip to be spent circling for and waiting at charging stations. 

Meanwhile, my three-person girl trips come equipped with colour-coded Google docs, restaurant spreadsheets with dropdown options (go conditional formatting and data validation!), and a robust shared Apple photo album post-mort. 

Whether you’re planning your own trip or breaking off into a group of three on a Contiki adventure: for me, the particular joy (and ease) of the three-person girls’ trip are unmatched. 

Delegation, but casual

One of the best parts of the three-girl trip? You can delegate without it feeling like a high school group project. 

Even if the trip somehow makes it out of the group chat, we’re still busy busy girls with day jobs, side quests, no personal assistants, and no desire to be the only one stuck planning the entire trip. 

With three girls, I usually initiate and connect the group. From there, role assignments are made:

• One handles hotels.
• One makes dinner reservations & refreshes the waitlist for coveted, can’t-miss spots.
• One figures out train schedules and is on navigation duty.

No one’s carrying the entire itinerary on their back, and ⅔ of the group is allowed to be naturally directionally-challenged without dooming the trip. Thank god. 

One can rest while two talk + travel princess privileges

Unlike two-person trips – where there’s more pressure to keep conversations going or constantly be “on” since you only have each other – two people can talk to each other, while the third can mentally dip out temporarily without anyone feeling abandoned. 

You also get travel princess privileges without needing a partner. While one friend navigates and the other chats with them, I can link arms with one or both of them or lightly hold onto one of their backpack straps and let myself be led through the world. My brain? Fully off. Not a thought in there. For me, that is a vacation.

With two other girls: Someone will always remember sunscreen. Someone else will come equipped with blotting paper and ask you if you want to use one too every few hours. One will always have a pocket mirror handy for you while you check your face in line at Disneyland or on the train. 

Even with a dear friend you love, two-person trips can feel intense. You’re each other’s roommate, breakfast date, sounding board. With three girls, the emotional load is shared. You can be quiet sometimes. You can be tired sometimes. 

I know of a food critic who always brings two friends to dinner so they can talk to each other while he focuses on his meal. I subscribe to that principle, and I’m also a slow eater. 

You can optimise lines and logistics

Three girls = an operationally, elite split.

At a busy food counter:

• One waits in line and orders for the group.
• One finds a table and marks territory with everyone’s bags.
• One grabs napkins, water cups, and mini white cups of ketchup.
• The person not ordering the food can take a bathroom break without timing pressure.

After landing at the airport:

• One can go to the taxi cab stand and check for pricing and current wait times.
• One compares Uber and Lyft.
• One can watch the luggage and/or grab snacks for the ride to the hotel.

Beyond just divvying up tasks, three girls also means an extra layer of built-in awareness around safety, especially when travelling in unfamiliar places. When I’ve travelled with guy friends or even boyfriends, I’ve often noticed they’re often not as conscious of the safety aspect – much less wary of taking a route that would otherwise be a red alert to girls.

In a taxi on the way to/from the airport:

• One or two of us might take an overdue nap.
• One of us stays awake and alert to watch the route and make sure the driver isn’t veering off course.

One bill, three wallets

As someone who’s been burned by Airbnb one too many times, I now gravitate toward hotels, ideally bigger-name ones when vacationing. I just want to know that after a long flight or train ride, I can jump into a bed with sheets that have been bleached to eternity and that there’s someone at the front desk if I need anything.

When you’re only travelling with one other person: you’re faced with the questions: Do you book a room with two twin beds? OR share a more readily-available room with one king-sized bed, sleep facing opposite directions, and try not to move around like you usually do at night?

With three people, most hotels I’ve stayed at have two full or queen-sized beds and a pull-out couch or rollaway. Sharing a singular bed isn’t even on the menu. You save money and get to stay somewhere actually nice – with your own bed! (If you’re on a Contiki trip, they’ll take care of the hotel/hostel stuff anyway.)

With three girls: no “face-away” weirdness like when vacationing with male friends, and you can wear your hair in sock curls without explanation. 

There will be lots of photos

Though I enjoyed my solo travel era, I hated that I came home with barely any photos of myself. Mostly I had pictures I took of places or of the people I met along the way. 

Let’s be real: if you go on a trip with two guy friends, you will probably be the one initiating most if not every single photo op. You might even be the only one taking them. And when you do ask them to take one of you? Prepare for the under-chin angle they love defaulting to. We always knew this from Hinge: men don’t often have good photos of themselves or many photos of themselves.

If you take a trip with just one other girl, you both end up bearing the full responsibility of each other’s photo ops & can only really ask the other person to take solo shots, which can get exhausting. 

With two other girls? You can alternate taking solo shots of each other. The iPhone shared album is created Day 1. The entire trip is immortalised. Outfit pics. Mirror selfies. Photos of every single dish you ate that day. Candids. Plandids from multiple angles. You have easy contenders to fill all 20 slots of your IG photo dump. And when you’re with girlfriends you actually like, they’ll capture you at your best. 

How to Form Your Girl Group:

This might be the most important factor in the quality (and survival) of your trip.

As someone who usually forms the group, here’s what I think about: I’ll bring one newer friend I want to get to know better – someone warm, fun, and game – and one friend I’ve known for a long time who I know will get along with everyone. The kind of friend you can’t imagine anyone hating. The friend who pops into your head when you think of the word “dear.”

Everyone should pass one test: if one of us leaves the table to go to the bathroom, the other two should still be talking when the other comes back. That’s how you know it’ll work. 

So yes, choosing the right girls matters. But once you’ve got your trio, the rest is just booking the flights and reserving your accommodations – or just let Contiki take the reins, honestly.

The three-person girls’ trip really is that sweet spot: a functional, low-drama, logistically ideal number of friends to travel with. Capricorn-coded.