In our last update we navigated the thrilling twists and turns of I Know What You Did Last Summer episodes 1-6. And I thought I’d pretty much figured everything out. Who the killer was. Who they were in cahoots with. How this was all going to go down.
Well, just goes to show what I know.
Warning! Spoilers ahead!
Episode 7 (If only dogs could talk), picks up pretty much where we left off: me being creeped out by Clara, and seriously suspicious of Dylan and Bruce.
To confirm our suspicions, we’re treated to an unsettling flashback with Clara preserving Lennon’s lifeless body in honey like something out of The Mummy. Though with less wholesome swashbuckling adventure, and more…ants being poured into ears? This show definitely isn’t for the squeamish.
Meanwhile, America’s worst Police Chief Lyla FINALLY seems to be making some progress, and stumbles the infamous cult cave. Is she finally going to catch Clara? The answer is no. Because Clara has been brutally murdered. I think I’m guna start calling her the Late Lyla.
Meanwhile, Dylan is acting all innocent, having ‘miraculously’ escaped Clara’s clutches in the cave. We’ve got your number, bud. Alisson/Lennon seems pretty keen to look past his generally strange vibe as she hooks up with him and spills all her juicy secrets, including the fact that she’s not Lennon at all – she’s his long lost crush. Margot is having another sad eating binge before being thrown through a glass door by a mystery assailant. Not her day.
And onto Bruce, the guy I just can’t stop being suspicious of. He’s meeting up with his totally-not-dead ex-wife, Helen – the mother of Lennon and Alison. No wonder he was so quick to forgive ALennon hiding the corpse of her sister. He’s hiding some pretty dark secrets himself.
And onto the...FINALE
Dylan is trying to spill the truth about ALennon’s deception. The Late Lyla doesn’t believe him, naturally, but gets forensics onto it, just in case.
So is the truth finally going to be revealed? Margot and Dylan reckon they’ve got it all figured out, anyway. It suddenly makes so much sense! Who had a dark secret? Alison and Bruce! Who would do anything to protect it? Alison and Bruce! And what better way to seal it away forever than to kill everyone who was in the cave that fateful night?
Everything’s starting to feel climactic as the crew coalesce on creepy Clara’s compound. Alison and Lennon’s mum, Helen, is there. But we find she’s been brutally murdered, naturally.
Alison and Dylan rush in to find Margot, sobbing. And they find something else, too: the grisly truth.
That’s right, ladies and gentlemen. It’s time. And the killer is….(Bruce right? Surely Bruce…)
That’s right. Not creepy culty Clara. Not weird and bearded Bruce. Not disturbed Dylan. But Lennon’s bestie. The girl I felt so sorry for. Who I thought just wanted and deserved love and affection.
Here’s how it plays out: Margot casually announces that not only did she kill Helen – she also knows that Alison’s been pretending to be her sister all year. And in a way, it makes sense. We know Margot was in love with Lennon. We know she disliked Alison. So as soon as she cottoned onto the sisterhood switcheroo, she was out for vengeance, murdering everyone involved in the hope that ALennon would hand herself in to stop the bloodshed.
I guess Margz didn’t count on the fact that in this town, everyone is as f*cked up as each other.
We discover that Margot initially stopped her murderous rampage when she caught feelings for ALennon. But then she went and slept with Dylan, Margot felt betrayed, and the killings continued.
What does ALennon do when presented with this horrific information? Umm…deny everything and continue pretending to be Lennon, of course. It doesn’t really fly with MurderMargot, who promptly stabs her. Turns out Margot has a pretty cunning plan, too. Dylan, in cahoots with creepy Carla, fits the profile of serial killer pretty neatly, so she makes sure his DNA is on the knife. The Late Lyla bursts in and…arrests Dylan. Oh, Lyla, at least you’re trying.
But wait a second. Despite her wound, ALennon isn’t dead. Surely she can just explain everything now? Clear everything up? Get Margot locked up and fly free with Dylan?
And yet…despite Margot killing *clears throat*, her mother, her friends, and any random people who got in her way…and despite the attempt to frame Dylan, Alison decides to condemn the innocent guy who she was so recently in love with, and side with the psycho. Seriously.
Did Alison lie to protect herself? After all, Margot is the only way everyone could find out about What She Did Last Summer. Or did she do it out of genuine love and affection for the girl who killed her mom?! Either way, one thing’s for sure. These guys totally deserve each other.
Margot says she doesn’t mind calling Alison Lennon, as long as she loves her. Nawwww, a happy ending for our heroes.
Meanwhile, Dylan is sent to prison, where he becomes a fully fledged, evangelical cultist – channeling Clara’s spirit.
So that’s that, no one got what they deserved. Everything is…
But WAIT. There's MORE!
Is that..Riley!? She’s dead, right. Well she definitely looks dead, embalmed in honey in a morgue somewhere. The camera zooms in. She opens her eyes.
How the hell did she survive? Is that part of the cult’s plan? Is Riley the ONE from Clara’s seemingly deranged prophecy? Was Dylan talking some sense after all?
Or is Riley simply a badass who survived her injuries and is about to kick some butt in the name of revenge…
Did someone say, season 2?